Can You Slow Down?

So where do I start?

It’s been an interesting month and in that time I haven’t written a blog post or sent a newsletter, and for a while I wasn’t as engaged with social media.

Why?

Because I was honouring how I felt - both physically and emotionally. I have to admit that it’s only in the last few years I’ve learned to do that. It doesn’t mean I was ‘giving in’; it means I was paying attention.

Six weeks ago I attended davidji’s Spiritual Awakening Meditation Retreat. It was wonderful and I was blessed to be given an opportunity to teach Qigong to everyone attending.

When I registered in January, I wanted to see what was holding me back. As I listened to others share, what I discovered was just how far I’ve come since beginning my Masters of Wisdom & Meditation Teacher training back in 2014.

The retreat included two days of silence. I was able to talk while I taught Qigong the first morning, but from that moment on I did not. As you may imagine, some people found it very difficult and some experienced profound ‘aha’ moments. For myself it was one of the activities that helped show me how I’ve grown. I quite enjoyed it and found it rather fun to communicate solely by writing notes.

Hmmm - Is What We’re Saying As Important As We Think It Is?

When our 48 hours ended, I felt no need to talk. I had been sharing my experience on social media before we started, but as I stopped for our time in silence, it was more challenging to start again.

The affects have lingered and I continue to find that I’m quieter and more measured in my speech.

Just before I left for California, our youngest cat had stopped eating. My husband took her to the vet and let me know that she was seriously ill. After sunrise meditation the next day I felt the need to pet Peaches, davidji’s sweet dog. As I shared with him what was happening at home, I began to cry and as he hugged me there on the beach, the guidance that he offered was what I already knew in my heart I needed to do - to surrender. To surrender to what was happening and to surrender to how I felt.

When I returned home, the results of an ultrasound indicated that Eve had a chance to recover, but it would be a week or more before we would see a change. As she was only 7 1/2 years old we decided to try. We fed her every 1 to 2 hours by syringe and gave her medicine. A week after my return she died at home in my arms, surrounded by those who loved her.

Do You Know When You Need To Stop?

The two weeks following my return were a whirlwind of activity and previous commitments, which other than what was happening with Eve, were wonderful. But in that time, I got sick. I didn’t feel terrible, but I had no voice and my energy was depleted. So I made the decision to honour how I was feeling.

A few years ago, I would have kept on running and doing. Sometimes we have to do that - like I did in my first two weeks home. I realize this is often easier said than done, but we also have a choice - and sometimes its a challenging choice to make.

However, I’ve learned that there comes a time when you need to slow down to get well. You need to slow down to heal. You need to slow down to put out good work again.

So I listened to what my body was telling me.

I taught the beautiful students in my qigong class and their energy kept me going. My mind continued to swirl with ideas as it usually does, but I didn’t feel compelled to do anything with them. My energy - and my voice - slowly began to come back and when I taught a Reiki Level 2 class last week it was like the switch turned back on. Yeah!!!

Is there a conclusion? Just before I began to write I looked back through some notes that I took during the retreat. We did various exercises and two things that I had written stood out and perhaps sum up the lessons that can be learned from my experience.

“Love and be present. Always. Pay attention. When Britt or Bill or an animal comes to me, or shares, or speaks, or nudges - stop what I’m doing and pay attention to them, whether its just a pat for 30 seconds or longer.”

“I’m okay, I’ve got this. Just keep growing and listening to my heart.”

I shared the above meme about Eve a few months ago. You can bet I’m glad that I took the time to stay sitting.

The day after she died I received a gift from davidji and Nicole to thank me for working with them. It was the adoption and support for one year of an orphaned baby elephant, Kiombo. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect as they didn’t know that Eve was gone - and of course I cried again.

Sometimes you just need to surrender.

I’ll see you on the path. 

 Namaste,   Glenda