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We all have events happen in our life that aren’t of our choosing or are unexpected. They may be minor irritants or something more major, but in any case they cause unwanted stress.
I learned a strategy from davidji called CFL - and for my fellow Canadians reading, that doesn’t mean the Canadian Football League. It isn’t always easy to do, but it can help you stay present, be more resilient and keep you from getting mired as deeply in the ‘what-if’ way of thinking - which doesn’t usually benefit our peace of mind.
The first step is C, which stands for Challenge. Can you change the way that you look at something from being a problem to being a challenge?
I originally learned this many years ago from listening to Zig Ziglar cassette tapes when I was driving. Doing this has helped me change my thinking, perspective and way of looking at things in many areas of my life. In fact, the word ‘problem’ has almost been eliminated from my vocabulary as it automatically shifts to ‘challenge.’
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A ‘problem’ can seem insurmountable - a ‘challenge’ invites us to play an active part in the situation or solution. I’ve found it extremely helpful to look at stressful times in this way. The key is to remember to make that switch!
The second step is F, which stands for Finite. Although something can seem infinite or like it will never end, there is always an end point.
It can be as simple as when you’re having a rough day at work, realizing that at the end of your shift you are out of there. The ‘challenge’ is to just get through the day and make it to 5:00 - the end point of work for the day.
Of course there can be tougher times to deal with - such as a job loss, diagnosis or illness. If someone is going through treatments, the end point would be when the treatments are over.
When that time comes, there may be new challenges to face, but this strategy can help you get through this period in time and CFL can begin again. You can chunk down what you need to do or what is happening into smaller pieces.
The third step is L, which stands for Lessons. When you think back, what are the lessons that you learned from whatever happened? You may not see the lessons immediately, sometimes it could be months or years, but they’ll be there.
They may be able to help your next round of CFL go a little easier. In our examples above, was there something you could change to make future days at work feel better? Did you learn new ways to advocate for yourself and your needs? It really could be anything - large or small - that will help make your life a little easier when faced with a similar ‘challenge.’
I’ve found that realizing the lesson can help to make sense out of what has happened. And if I can look back and see that, it helps to make me more resilient in my ability to bounce back from the next challenge. I’ll admit that it took me a few years to really see all of the lessons from my experience with my previous business. (you can read about that here) CFL is something that I wish I had known then.
I'll see you on the path,
Namaste, Glenda